ktjhawk

moving

2007-06-24T02:56:21Z

Hey - whoever may be out there. livejournal is not working well for me - I'm moving over to blogger. check me out at

http://ktjhawk.blogspot.com/

It's more fun, more versatile and more me.

phone interview

2007-06-21T20:48:09Z

So, the chair of St. Da Kine's call committee called last night. They would like to do a phone interview and we have scheduled it for the evening of July 2. I'm of a couple minds about this - I'm happy to talk to them, but so much communication happens non-verbally, the phone can be so artificial, especially for a first meeting. When I talk on the phone to people I know it's a different thing - but to have this kind of a conversation where all I am is a voice coming out of a conference phone concerns me. Oh well, we'll see what happens.

Packing continues...kind of. I've hit that point where it is easier to step over things than it is to pack them. I did just get the OK to use the empty apartment next to mine as a kind of staging area for the next 10 days or so - a place where I can put things temporarily until they are ready for their move into the relocube or their trip to salvation army. I think this will help - at the very least psychologically it will help the chaos feel less...well, chaotic.

contact...part 2

2007-06-16T23:33:40Z

Last night I had a conversation with the chair of St. Da Kine's call committee. A lovely woman, who would ask a question and then talk for another minute giving every possible qualification and/or answer - you know at least one of these people, I'm sure. She seems excited to get the process moving and have me talking to the committee as soon as possible. My first available weekend is July 6-8, so they may want to do a phone call before then. I should know sometime in the next week what they want to do. In the meantime she is going to pull together some things to send me - worship bulletins, newsletters, etc. I'm looking forward to getting some more information about what is going on there, as I haven't been able to access their website.

In other news...I'm packing. I have WAY too many books - why does one person need this many books? I just keep putting books in boxes and then there are always more...it's like I'm in some type of strange, never-ending cycle in a ring of hell. I think I am closing in on the end - I hope so, otherwise I'm just going to move out and let someone else deal with it while I live in a tent, and only use library books.

contact!

2007-06-14T00:57:25Z

The bishop called this evening. He's on his way to meet with congregation previously mentioned...hmmm, a name...let's call it "St. Da Kine." (if you're in Hawaii, that makes sense - for the mainlanders, it translates roughly to "St. What's-his/her-name") So, he's meeting with St. Da Kine's call committee tonight - taking them my name, and the name of one other person. This is the congregation with the new "praise" service - and apparently it is giving them hope for growth, rather than the pattern of decline they have been experiencing for the past several years. So - hopefully I'll be hearing from them soon about going down there to meet them and talk to them.

In other good news, the synod staff is meeting on Friday to talk mobility! The interim guy will be there and he should be contacting me soon after that meeting, as I'm in the top 10 people the bishop wants him to focus on, at least at the beginning of his work. I told the bishop that I was trying to be persistent without being annoying - he laughed and said persistence is good and that I hadn't been annoying (at least yet...I think there's room here for me to grow!).

I feel so relieved! Even a bit hopeful...so I hope it's not premature and St. Da Kine will want to at least talk with me - why not? I'm cool.

discouraged

2007-06-13T14:02:32Z

So....the sound of silence from Southern California is deafening. I called the bishop on Friday (he was out, but had someone send me the congregational profile at the end of the day). Monday, I called again (he was out, left a message with his secretary) and also emailed. Tomorrow, if there is still nothing, I'll try again. Maybe Thursday is a better day.

I'm wondering, though. When does this cross the line from persistent to annoying? I certainly don't want to go quietly into the night, hanging out for them to get a hold of me...but I also don't want to be so annoying that they get sick and tired of me. It's a balance I'm wondering how to strike and am not finding an easy answer. People have been asking me when I would want to start talking with other synods - if I ever get to talk to my own again, I'd like to talk with him about that as well. If there is nothing on the horizon, I'd like to start talking to others now - because even if a congregation gets my name this week, I'm still likely looking at a several month process. Sigh.

I hope to have something to share here soon - other than feelings of frustration and discouragement, that is.

Wednesday news

2007-06-06T21:35:37Z

OK, so there isn't much news. I talked to the bishop on Sunday - we had a good talk about a church in Orange Co. The church went through some crisis times in the not-too-distant past and has dropped from worshiping 350 15 years ago to around 50 now. They have been "adopted" by another congregation in the synod that has provided leadership, money and bodies for a praise service (eek) - although they maintain their "traditional" service as well. There are some concerns on my part, as praise services are not necessarily my thing, but more than that I worry about my ability to work with the pastor of the adopting congregation, as he is much more conservative than I am and I wouldn't want that to get in the way of doing ministry.

The bishop was going to look over the paperwork of the other congregations in mobility and we're to talk at the end of the week. Hopefully there will be some options available. I'm now wondering if I may not try to stay in the Bay Area for July - perhaps in the dorm - and make a little more money as well as be available for interviewing (hopefully!)

so much for that

2007-06-01T00:02:23Z

Well, my options for a call are back at zero. I had a phone call from a call committee member in TCWTNTMML and they have extended a call to someone. Without even talking to them I had serious concerns, so I'm not upset about it, except that now I have no options on the table, which is a hard place to be. I'm hoping to talk to the bishop soon - and to connect with the interim mobility person in the synod office.

I'm not foundering with nothing to do, at least. I have the thesis to occupy my time and energy, as well as four jobs at the seminary to balance, so I should have little time to obsess about my lack of opportunities...at least for a month or so.

back to the mainland

2007-05-29T20:57:32Z

I'm headed back to CA today. I have had a wonderfully relaxing time in Hawaii. I stayed long enough to spend time with friends and to visit favorite places on O'ahu. I return to Berkeley feeling relaxed, refreshed and ready to get back to work (a little itchy where the sunburn on my back is peeling).

As advertised I called the bishop today...and since he was out of the office, I settled for leaving a message. He's supposed to be back in the office tomorrow, so hopefully I'll hear from him. I briefly touched base with the bishop's asst. who is in charge of mobility stuff, but she had to take another call. My flight boards in 40 minutes, so we'll see if she gets back to me before then.

So - nothing new to report...except Jeff thinks I should come back to Hawaii and work with him at my internship site - they only have to do some amazing growth in people and budget in the next two months so they could pay me - I think it's a good goal for them!

phone call

2007-05-26T08:48:54Z

Today, I was poking around in a Hawaiiana store at Ward Center before I met some friends for dinner. My phone rang and I wandered outside the store to answer it. It was the chair of the call committee from the church in the "City by the Hills" - they have decided that I am not a good match for them and vice versa. He asked me to keep in touch and let them know where I end up and told me that they would continue to keep me in prayer.

I agree that this congregation is not a good match. That being said, I shed a few tears about the phone call - even though I wasn't excited about this congregation for me, I do feel rejected and also concerned about what now. There isn't really anything else on the horizon right now (TCWTNTMML still hasn't called) and I'm wondering what I'll be doing in a month...and where I'll be doing it. I have an offer of an apartment and a cocker spaniel companion in Hawaii for much of July, if I want it. I have a friend who is traveling for four weeks and while he has made arrangements to board his dog at the vets, would love to have me stay with the dog...I'm thinking about it.

I plan to call the bishop on Tuesday to talk about the situation in TCWTNTMML and now to tell him the the church in the city by the hills has released me from their process. I'll let you know what he says.

vacationing...and call process update

2007-05-20T01:26:08Z

Well, I'm on vacation. I flew to Hawaii this morning. BART was running late due to power and maintenance issues so I cut the timing a lot closer than I care to, but I made the plane and had a smooth flight. I am staying with some friends from internship - they graciously have opened their home to me for the whole 10 nights I'm here and are fine with me coming and going as I please. What a gift! After a fabulous lunch of "leftovers" that were more tasty and better presented than first time meals that I cook, Carl went back to work and I took a walk for about an hour and a half. It shouldn't surprise you that Honolulu is hot...and I was OK while walking, but whenever I stopped I noticed how warm I was. I'm now back in the air conditioned condo on the 35th floor with a killer view, enjoying some quiet time. I deliberately walked for a while to keep myself moving and to stretch my legs after a 5 hour flight. Also, I need to be more active - so this was a nod to that goal.

So - the call process. I got a card in the mail from the call committee from City by the Hills a couple of days ago. It was a lovely, "thank God for you" card with a typed letter from a call committee member. When I told my story I talked about my mom's cancer and death and this person recounted their own experiences with cancer and illness in her family. It was quite lovely and a wonderful thought - I would have been completely bowled over had the letter not begun "Dear Karen"...oy.

Both Thursday and Friday I talked to the synod staff person in charge of call stuff. She seemed surprised that I hadn't heard from the church in the City with the Name that Makes me Laugh (CWTNTMML) - this being vague thing can be fun. Apparently their call committee took a month off - nice if someone would have called. According to KP I should be getting a phone call from them sometime next week. They aren't keen on interviewing me - first call and all - so the synod is making them talk to me before they can see any more profiles. That ought to be a joy!

I think it's going to take a couple of days to sink into this vacation thing. Tomorrow all day I'm at LCH - for church in the AM and the installation in the afternoon, followed by a reception. I am so excited about seeing people! I don't know how many know I'm here, so it'll be fun to see people's reactions.

Waiting

2007-05-08T15:06:41Z

I'm back at school and into a dual role of working and waiting. As for the call - they are interviewing two other candidates, the second of which is in six weeks. So, I wait. As for work - there's the continued issue of the thesis, of course - a chunk of which I'm using for the class my adviser teaches...thank you Dr. A! And, I have an 8-10 page paper due Monday. Not bad at all. The thesis will continue to be part of my world into the summer, but that's OK. I'm still excited about it and happy to keep thinking about this stuff.

As for my plans - in two weeks I leave for vacation. I'm off to Hawaii to visit friends from internship and spend time relaxing. It's been a long time since I've vacationed, so I am very excited! Then, it's back to the city by the bay for June - I'll work a few jobs at the school, work on my thesis and pack up my apartment. I'll be moving out at the end of June. My stuff will be going into storage, most likely, and if I don't have a place to move to, I'll be hitting the road and visiting friends and family.

I'll keep updating, as there are things to report. I'll likely be calling the synod office this week, as I know another congregation has my name, but has not contacted me. I'd like to know what's up with that.

Day Three

2007-05-06T22:08:19Z

And so it ends. I preached today at the "mother church" of the congregation at which I am interviewing. This congregation planted the one in "city by the hills" just over 20 years ago. The people at the church this morning were welcoming and encouraging and it was a great place to preach. The call committee members were all there, and I think I preached a decent sermon. It was fairly typical, I think, of how I preach - I didn't hit it out of the ballpark but I didn't bomb, either. We'll see what happens. They interview two other candidates, the last of which is the third weekend in June, so if they decide that they are interested in me, I have a while to wait. Of course, I still have a lot to do, but sitting in this time of indecision and vague plans of moving to SoCal at some point is going to get weary, I know.

Overall, I'm happy with my weekend. The call committee was excited about where the church is heading and the potential for ministry...and the ministry they are already doing. I didn't ask, but perhaps should have (although how does one ask this) if they are representative of the congregation in that regard. I got the impression they weren't a lone group of 'stars' but who knows. We'll see how the Holy Spirit moves in this process.

I was lucky to be able to spend time with some friends while I was here. I had dinner with Josh and Nicole last night - it was nice to "debrief" the interview with them, catch up on their lives and share a meal. Today I had lunch with Patricia and since she was the practice interview for this call committee (weird!) she knew the players and was asked some of the same questions, so it was nice to talk about the weekend as a whole with her. It's also a good reminder that I wouldn't be here on my own - I have friends here already, and will certainly make more.

I now need to shift gears to liturgical theology and my presentation in class tomorrow. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers as this process continues to move along and unfold.

Day Two

2007-05-06T04:30:46Z

So...today was the church tour and the interview with the committee. The church tour was with John, my call committee contact person/tour guide from yesterday and the chair of the committee. It's a nice little building. It is in the area of town where several new developments are being constructed and more are in the plans. There is yet another strip-mall/shopping area going in just up the road with a Super Target and Best Buy and such, apparently to open this summer.

There is a nave that seats about 150, a small fellowship hall, a library and an office. They just re-carpeted and got new chairs...all in red...in the nave. The building is well-cared for and well loved and was built with a plan for growth. They almost max out their nave in the one worship service they have on Sundays...at which apparently they do "Now the Feast" every week. Sigh. They have a upright and electric piano for instruments, and apparently used to have a praise band that has died out because the worship service was not well attended. So, now they have one service and no education hour.

The interview was at the home of the call committee chair. It was about 3-1/2 hours long, and it seemed to go well. I wish that I had spent more time developing questions from their transition report, but the questions that I had were applicable, and apparently "tough", so at least I made people think. I was asked about everything from transitioning from a pastor centered to program centered church (no, you actually can't make the jump without spending money on staff)- to how I would engage and retain youth (talk to them, find out what they want) - to what I thought about "Vision and Expectations" (it's too bad it's reduced to one line on page 13) - to do I have any skeletons in my closet (no...egads, for some reason I found that depressing to admit). They spent a lot of time talking amongst themselves, as I was their first interview and were finding stuff out about each other and their thoughts, so that was a bit distracting, but overall it went well. The people are friendly and passionate in their love of Jesus and people in need and want someone to help them do ministry. One could do worse. They seem to take their cues from the pastor, so I could potentially do some worship revising, but we'll see what happens. They interview two more candidates and I may not be the best fit for them. My high church soul weeps a little at the worship aesthetic of this congregation, but that is just a sense, since I have not experienced it myself. There was some talk about reviving the praise band, but they are mostly looking for ways to grow, and that will include adding another service...when and what it should be is up for grabs and will take some prayer and discernment to figure out, and I wonder if I would be up to the task!

I didn't ask about their time-line...and I should have. If I have a chance to talk to anyone tomorrow morning, I may try to slip that in. It would be nice to know when they're making their recommendation to the council, just so I have a idea of when I'll know what my options are...

Now, I'm off to read more for my class presentation on Monday. Ugh.

Day One

2007-05-05T03:17:33Z

It's been an interesting day. I traveled to 'city by the hills' today and met with my call committee contact person for a tour of the city. We had dinner with another member of the call committee, an 18 year old delightful young woman. But the travel day started off strange...

Because of the freeway issues, I took public transit to the airport. Because of the reason for the trip I was dressed up and wearing high heels. So, I walked to public transit station and then through the ENTIRE airport, as my gate was as far away from my check-in location as it possibly could be and still be part of the airport. (remember, I'm in heels...my feet were doing OK by this point, but it was long walk). I got a bite to eat at airport and stood at a window to eat, and give my feet a break - the window overlooked the construction going on at the airport. I ate and watched a backhoe loading dirt and chunks of concrete into a truck. When the the truck was full it started to pull away and then got stuck in the soft ground. The backhoe then did a fun maneuver with its basket to make a 90 degree turn to help push the truck out of the hole it had dug itself into. I was really into this drama - a bit like a five year old and Bob the Builder, I imagine. Sadly i was unable to watch the drama unfold as there was an announcement to evacuate the building. Ugh. People started filing toward the exit and just as i was about to leave security area a different voice then came on canceling the evacuation order. Apparently they were testing the new fire alarm system and forgot to mention that before they pushed the button. For the next 15 minutes there were announcements to ignore the warnings - which by that point had stopped.

I arrived at my destination and met John, my call committee contact. I had requested a driving tour of the area, thanks to the advice of many wise friends. It was a lovely time and a love dinner with Mary, but I wonder. This city is a collection of subdivisions. There is no city center, no arts, nothing for people to do. It's beautiful, and booming and growing, but the city seems to be a series of subdivisions and nothing tying them together. Yes there are many people here (180,000) and many stores and restaurants, but I wonder if I'll end up being as lost here as I would in a rural area - there doesn't appear to be anything for me to do here, other than work. John was a bang-up tour guide, having lived in six or so different subdivinsions in his time here, and has been a resident long enough to have experienced the boom in growth first hand. I want there to be a "place" though, a place where people from all parts of the city gather - and it doesn't exist here outside of the mall. The question is, can I live in a place without that kind of city center? And the deeper question is, what is the desire for a city center really a desire for?...community, or at least the potential for it, I think.

Dinner was good - and good conversation. I hate small talk and John did his part to keep things going, which was nice. I asked a few decent questions...what Mary and John liked about city by the hills and what they wish that it had...Mary is getting ready to graduate from HS so we talked a bit about the chruch's youth group - including their dubious decision to have Friday night events..?? Not exactly a night when you're going to get teens to come to church! I really wasn't ready to have to drive the conversation during dinner, though and I'm afraid I came off a bit bumbling. I don't know, though. It was an enjoyable time and Mary is delightful and honest and funny, so that was a good time.

I see the church tomorrow - we drove by it today, but I get inside tomorrow - and have my interview with the call committee. I need to ask them that question - we'll see what they say...and how I feel at the end of my time with them.

Motivational ebb

2007-05-01T20:58:54Z

I am having a hard time doing stuff lately - writing, researching, cleaning - anything that denotes productivity at all is not getting done. My couch has a hold on me that is unprecedented and intense. I recently told a friend that I needed a life coach that would keep me in the butt and get me off the couch. Her reply - "they do that?!" - in an excited manner that tells me I'm not the only one in this situation.

But yet, I still have to write and interview worthy sermon; a presentation on two authors for Monday's seminar; an annotated bibliography on a yet unknown topic; and oh, yeah, a thesis. Oy.

And so it begins

2007-04-30T01:22:23Z

As I enter the interviewing process I feel a bit of a need to write about it and process "outloud", as it were. Of course, I'm more than a little worried (as only I can) that in some weird vortex of internet connections someone from an interviewing congregation will stumble upon this. Oh well...if it happens, it happens.

I leave on Friday for interview #1...and at this point interview #only. I have some anxiety, but am taking JB's advice about seeing this process as working with the congregation to help them find the best pastor for them - who may not be me. It seems a healthy way to approach this process and I strive to follow her wise advice.

So - we'll see what God has in store. I'm interested to find out.